How to rest

step 1 is not to start writing a blog post instead. but let’s ignore that part for now.

step 2 is to do nothing. just sit. no, sitting is too active, lie down if you can. close your eyes. do nothing.

step 3 is: that’s boring isn’t it? i find i immediately get agitated. but agitation is one of the things that is the opposite of rest - rest is not exerting yourself either physically, mentally OR emotionally. so

step 4 is: try that again, knowing that it’s useful to do even if it’s boring and even if it’s confronting. you’re not meditating, it’s fine for thoughts to wander through your head, but try not to solve anything. if you’re reading this then you probably do really need to do some resting, so: this is more important than the worrying you have to do.

step 5 is: okay this is still difficult. so let’s set a timer. 15 minutes. it’s a game now, can you lie there and not do anything, not try to solve anything, for fifteen minutes. if you fall asleep then that’s fine - but it’s also not the goal here. it’s like having insomnia and lying there, knowing that you won’t get some sleep but trying to gain the benefit from some quiet lying down anyway.

step 6 is that your housemate starts making some noise and you try to ignore it because the timer hasn’t went off yet. you can hear the plane outside. this would be easier if it was warm and you were in a hammock. a bunch of time has passed, i wonder how much. i think i’m doing it!

step 7 is more of the same. worrying is also exertion, so try not to worry that you’re doing this wrong.

step 8 is that your timer goes off and wow! you did it! you rested!

step 9 is that you probably need to do this again soon

step 10 is: i guess i should rework my attitude to this, try to make this necessary thing not something i actively dislike. better to enjoy it if it’s necessary. better to do it sooner rather than waste a lot of time failing to do it but also not doing anything enjoyable either.

image from this NHS video on resting